Dad

​I'm not going to have a story, or an anecdote, or anything like that. Instead, I'm going to talk about how I feel. ​We're all made of star dust. This amazing thing that we have and call life started out in the infernos of exploding suns. Can you imagine that? It's not even something we can question, it happened. It's real. We are star stuff. We so take it for granted how lucky we are to be where and when we are. I got to be. I got to be the son of Pat and Nola Milum. Of all the people in the universe, of all of the places my atoms could have assembled they did so here, in me. ​I don't believe in an afterlife, or spirits, or anything like that. Believe me, for the last few days I really wish I could. Instead, I believe in life. It's what we have, it's real. We live in this terrible universe, it's cold and uncaring. Life is a struggle wherever it happens. People like us are lucky though, we have brains and societies that foster caring and love. While I'm alive I want to give and receive as much love as I can possibly handle. We have such a short time, and the best we can hope for are some beautiful moments to help us carry on. ​My dad gave me beautiful moments. Buckets of them. I remember being a kid and going for rides in the logging truck with him. Waking up at 4 in the morning and sleeping on the swamper side until daylight. I cherish the time spent out on the lakes (be it Blackwater or Loon, or whatever lake) fishing rods in hand, quietly waiting for a fish, but mostly just enjoying the time together. We look similar, I've been told; and I guess I can see the resemblance. There was a picture, I saw it once at Nanny's house a long time ago — I couldn't find it for today — When I saw that picture, I looked at Nanny and, I think I said something like, "When did we take this picture? I don't remember it". I didn't remember because it wasn't me, it was dad. All of these little moments of his life, and countless others, I will carry with me for as long as I live. I can only hope that I give my family the same kind of beautiful moments that he gave me.